Downwind from Flowers

Lee Paton is the hospice nurse who told the following story, submitted by Linda Ross Swanson in Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul. See the book for the whole story, which we abbreviate here.

Tenzin’s Story

Tenzin is a Tibetan refugee who lived in Seattle, Washington. At the age of 52 he was diagnosed with lymphoma. He received his first dose of chemotherapy. During the treatment he became extremely angry and upset. He pulled the IV out of his arm and refused to cooperate. He shouted at the nurses and became argumentative with everyone who came near him. The doctors and nurses were baffled.

Tenzin’s wife explained that Tenzin had been a political prisoner of the Chinese for 17 years. Soldiers killed his first wife and repeatedly tortured and brutalized Tenzin. She said that the hospital rules and regulations, coupled with the chemotherapy treatments, gave Tenzin horrible flashbacks of the Chinese military.

“I know you mean to help him,” she said, “but he feels tortured by your treatments. They are causing him to feel hatred—just like he felt toward the Chinese. He said he would rather die than have to live with the hatred he is feeling. According to our belief, it is very bad to have hatred in your heart at the time of death. He said he needs to be able to pray and cleanse his heart.”

“The doctors then discharged Tenzin from the hospital and asked the hospice team to visit him in his home,” Lee said. “I was the hospice nurse assigned to his care.”

Lee called Amnesty International for advice. A representative told her to “talk it through” with Tenzin. He said, “This person has lost his trust in humanity, and feels hope is impossible. If you are to help him, you must find a way to give him hope.”

Lee encouraged Tenzin to talk about his experiences, but “he held up his hand and stopped me,” she said. He told her, “I must learn to love again if I am to heal. Please don’t ask me questions about those experiences. Help me to love again.”

She asked him, “How can I help you love again?”

He replied, “Sit down with me, drink my tea and eat my cookies.”

Tenzin, his wife and Lee sat together, drinking tea, for weeks. They worked with his doctors during this time too, to treat his pain, “but it was his spiritual pain that seemed to be decreasing.”

When the spring came, Lee asked Tenzin what Tibetans do when they are ill in the spring. “He smiled brightly,” she said, and he told her, “We sit downwind from flowers.” He explained, “Tibetans sit downwind so they can be dusted with the pollen from the new blossoms that floats on the spring breezes.”

One of Lee’s friends “suggested that Tenzin visit some of the local flower nurseries.” Lee called the manager of one of the nurseries and explained the situation. “The manager’s initial response was: `You want to do what?’ But, when I explained the request, the manager agreed,” Lee stated.

“The next weekend, I took Tenzin and his wife, with their provisions for the afternoon: black tea, butter, salt, cups, cookies, prayer beads and prayer books. I brought them to the nursery, and assured them I would return at 5 p.m. The following weekend, Tenzin and his wife visited another nursery. The third weekend, they went to yet another. The fourth week, I received several calls from the nursery owners or managers inviting Tenzin and his wife to come again.

One of the managers said, `We’ve got a new shipment of nicotiana coming in and some wonderful fuchsias, and oh, yes, some great daphne. I know they would love the scent of that daphne. And, I almost forgot! We have some new lawn furniture that Tenzin and his wife might enjoy.’ Later that day, I got a call from another manager telling me that they had colorful wind socks that would help Tenzin predict where the wind was blowing.

“People began to know and care about the Tibetan couple. The nursery employees started setting out the lawn furniture in the direction of the wind. Others would bring out fresh hot water for their tea. Some of the regular customers would leave their wagons of flowers near Tenzin and his wife. It seemed that a community was growing around them.

“At the end of the summer, Tenzin returned to his doctor for another CT scan to determine the extent of the spread of the cancer, but the doctor could find no evidence of cancer at all. He was dumbfounded. He told Tenzin that he just couldn’t explain it.

“Tenzin lifted his finger up and said, `I know why the cancer has gone away. It could no longer live in a body that is filled with love.’

“He explained further. `When I began to feel all the compassion from the hospice people, from the nursery employees, and all those people who wanted to know about me, I started to change inside. Now, I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to heal in this way. Doctor, please don’t think that your medicine is the only cure. Sometimes compassion can cure cancer, as well.'”

This story illustrates not only how love heals, but that it takes a community of love to provide a healing context in society for support of others. (For those who may wish to explore further the realm of flowers
and their role in healing, visit Flower Essence Society for other healing stories.)